WHY IS ASKING FOR HELP HARD?

This question came after i asked my friend to help me sort my blogspot out.

I’ve been setting up my blog for a while and not sure what was wrong. Also i dint realise that i’ve actually done all the work. I wouldn’t even ask my husband for help because i was bent on doing it myself. So i left it for a while but it was on my mind. Then i asked my friend, Angel and with 5 minutes it was sorted. All i had to do was to make it public and delete a few things and i was so grateful.

So why is it hard to ask for help sometimes?

One of the reason is embarrassment. Fear of been seen as not so smart after all, (which is stupid), fear of being turned down or laughed at.

Can i just say we reject ourselves before someone else rejects us? Because it seems we feel asking for help belittles or makes us smaller. Also in these time of the ‘i did it alone crase, self made, instant gratification, it seems asking for help makes us feel small.

Have we forgotten we’re better together? We’re social animals and we’re a pride of lion, we need each other. Asking for help is one of the biggest yet most simple thing to do

SO HOW DO WE ASK FOR HELP?

1. Don’t say no to yourself before someone say’s yes to you – we all deserve support, yes. But what is the worse that can happen? No? so what!!! Be positive before you ask for help and if no is the answer, tomorrow is another day. We move!

2. Be straight forward – don’t cook up story like i would do when i was younger. I will try to paint to scene, oh dear lord! A scene that by the time i’ve finished the story the most simple thing will become the most complicated thing on earth. Make is simple, make it clear, just go for it or like Nike, Just do it.

3. Don’t apologise – When i was younger, asking for help felt like rocket science. In the middle of my request, i’ll bombard the person with a lot of sorry’s. Like, hello Angel, i’m sorry to ask for this. I wouldn’t have asked but sorry to bother you.. lol. Now looking back, it felt like i wasn’t worthy of help.

All i’m trying to say is go for it, shoot your shot.

4 . Don’t make it transactional – When genuinely asking for help don’t make it transactional i.e. reciprocity. This has happened to me. A friend of mine was stuck in a funny situation and wanted my help of which i was going to help. But in the middle of the help, he started throwing in that he owes me, he was going to return the favour. I was put off because he’s a genuinely good guy and always came through for me and there was no need trying to expect me to help him because i expected him to reciprocate in future.. if so, then the help wasn’t genuine.

5. Give feedback – People loooove feedback. I do. It’s another way of saying i appreciate the help you gave me or see what your help did. It’s also a gratitude thing as well, as people love to hear thank you

I hope i have inspired you to accept that it’s ok to ask for help and some people wont mind to give a lending hand. And if No is the answer, tomorrow is another day.

I hope these tips will reassure you that there are good people out there that will help you when they can and don’t be shy to ask for help as we all need each other.

Till next time,

Bose